Andrew

When the student is ready the teacher appears, This was one of the first things that Phil and I talked about at the start of the coaching journey. It’s an important first step, I needed to come to the coaching in a state of readiness, like so many things in life, it’s what you put in that really defines what you get out.

I was ready for coaching as I felt frustrated, I was falling into a cycle where things would seem great for a short time, only to come crashing back down, feeling like I wasn’t good enough to succeed. When this happened, I’d find myself envious of others, who were having success and I knew, deep down, this wasn’t me.

I was also struggling to balance things at home, I wanted to be the number one at work, involved in everything, the number one dad, the number one partner, the tidiest house and well-kept garden on the street, it was exhausting! Not only because, it was never possible, also because of the cycle of constant striving followed by perception of failure.

So it was against this backdrop that I knew something had to change and I was really grateful when the opportunity came to work with Phil.

Early in the process, we talked about carrying excess baggage from our past and how we need to learn to take the rocks out of the backpack. Another fundamental part of the process is the fortress model. For me, this acts like a default setting, something I can always go back to, when I need to either get in touch with my true self and values, but also a reminder of what I am good at and what I need to work on. I still refer to the fortress every week.

Once this was in place, I started to believe in myself. I still faced the same problems (some even worse) than I had experienced before but now had a capacity not just to endure them, but to learn from them and grow. I even did a video interview at a business event last year, this would have been unthinkable for me 6 months ago.

The transition from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset has been one of the most transformational experiences of my life. When I am in this state, I am always either winning or learning. The growth mindset isn’t envious of others, because when I realised how capable I really am, the success of others is embraced and not feared, the light from one candle, isn’t diminished by the one hundred candles around it.

During the coaching journey, my dad died, Phil was gracious enough to check in on me during this time, even if we didn’t have any coaching sessions booked, his sincere support during this time, will not be forgotten and is a reflection on the type of man he is. Genuine, caring, supportive and dedicated to seeing the people he works with, succeed.

We will work together again in the future and am grateful for all the work we have done together on the journey so far.